1.  Someone the internal cabal of Republican corporate warmongers can control.

2.  Someone to annoint for Bush's replacement.  (Hopefully conforming to 1, and eliminating McCain, I guess.)

3.  Someone to make the Republican look good and clean

Luis Fortuño (R:  PR)

Who the hell is he?  He is Puerto Rico's resident commisioner in Washington.

What does this mean?  This means he is elected by the residents of the island of Puerto Rico to sit on House committees, where he votes, and attend House sessions where he cannot vote.

Why would Bush appoint this guy?

He meets all the qualifications and more.

He is young, He is decent looking, He is relatively clean and not touched by the multitude of scandals that plague the PR statehood party, with which he is affiliated.  As a "penepe" (statehooder) he would apparently fulfill the requirement of being a loyal US citizen.  He is Latino and therefore would help the Republicans reach out to the Latino community in ways that they have been unable to before, particularly helping shore up support in Florida, New York, and Illinois (directly among PR diaspora) and elsewhere with the broader Latino community.  Unlike most previous resident commisioners, Fortuño appears to have some power and respect in Repub circles due to his heritage and the party's desire to reach out to non-white ethnic groups.

Also, this would help the US deal with the problem of PR as a colony.  Recently, the FBI raided the house of convicted bank robber, alleged murderer and domestic terrorist, and local independence hero Filiberto Ojeda.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filiberto_Ojeda_Rios  This has, at least temporarily, fired up and united the PR independence movement.  Fortuño's elevation would rally the statehood movement.  Then the US could more easily push PR to put up or shut up on deciding status, either independence wins and the US can forget about PR, or statehood wins and we can exploit potential oil reserves and reopen military bases for our impending invasion of Venezuela.  (Remember, have fun speculating!)  Regardless, the big loser would be the status quo, which has the largest plurality of support on the island (~48%, to ~45% for statehood, balance to independence).  PR's electorate, if it were a state, would not vote for all democrats, despite the amount of skin you see at the beach and in the mall, the community here is fairly conservative.  My guess is that the Republicans would take half the house seats and one Senate seat.  A good trade for the Republican party to bring in some Hispanic faces.

Second nominee:  Gerald Ford

Who is he?  Used to be President
Why would Bush appoint this guy?  Why not?  He has experience as an unelected Veep and would shore up support in Michigan.

And now, for your nominations for VP